Five for Friday

Are you a crap parent?

In case you missed ALL my social media punts about this…

Living & Loving
No make-up, no care. Found this on the shelf while shopping!

I’ve been featured in the January edition of Living & Loving magazine (OMG)!

I’m trying my best to be humble about it but it’s hard. And it came hot off the heels of being featured on Becoming You too! All the excitement and all the feels this month!

I know it’s small potatoes but you guys, I subscribe to Living & Loving and to be featured there is simply amazing!

After all the long hours of learning to put my feelings into words, hours of editing and thinking up creative ideas (as any content creator can tell you) this is rewarding.

It’s nice to get noticed. It encourages me to keep writing, keep slaying and working even harder at my dreams.

About the feature

In the interview I was asked a bunch of questions about me and my blog Anthea’s Project Life. Only some answers were used for the article. After reading the feature I began to be concerned about the image I portrayed. I pride myself on being relateable and honest, especially here. And in all honesty, I’m not a perfect mom and wife.

Being a working mom is super stressful as you’re always on the go. The only way I survive is that I lean into God daily and draw from His grace. 

Even so, there are moments when I feel like a crap parent.

My crap parent show reel

I’ve gone back to work after three weeks of holiday with my kids. We had a stay-cation so didn’t do much else except lounge around, swim and eat all the things.

I miss my children something fierce now that I’m back at work. Although…I’m also blissfully happy adulting here in a quiet air-conditioned office while my mom is at home at their beck and call. She hasn’t quit yet so I think they’re happy!

There are days when I’m mentally exhausted after a work day. After work I collect my kids from aftercare, cook, bath and check homework. I relish their bedtime so much that we sometimes do “piggy nights“. Piggy nights are when you skip a bath and just have a wipe down. When the kids are relatively clean (especially during Winter) this happens often. The kids love piggy nights!

On the weekends, I sometimes forget to feed my kids. When I start a good book or get lost in my knitting or crotchet projects I literally lose hours! For this reason I try to stock up on fruit and yogurt. This way, when I’ve forgotten to feed them they can help themselves.

Family fun

Also….have you ever been so engrossed in a book that you’ve given your kids unlimited screen time so you can read uninterrupted? [Raises hand slowly]

There’s enough shade to go around

Oh, and that one time I’d planned a girls night and expressed some milk for Alex. I had all my expressed breast milk neatly stored in special storage bags in the freezer. Earlier that week while cooking, I froze some leftover coconut milk in one of those bags too.

Upon my return I found Ashley feeding a very content three month old baby from a bottle. With breastfed babies, dads rarely get the same feeding and bonding opportunities. Needless to say, he was looking very smug that they had managed without me.

To my horror, I immediately smelt the coconut milk. Alex had already finished her bottle! I felt so guilty for this mistake and was convinced our child would be sick! After a sleepless night of googling and monitoring her she was fine. In fact, she absolutely loves coconut now at age six!

They both still like milk

So you see, sometimes I am a crap parent. Our parents were not perfect either!

On being a survivalist

In fact, we are so much more attentive than previous generations of parents! As a child I never got any bedtime stories so I became an early reader. My mom worked shifts and after school ended I’d read to her to help her fall asleep. I used to read Bibo, the blue character from the YOU magazine.

Then there was the time she lost me in Woolies on Adderley street. It’s possible the worst place you can lose your child because it’s close to every public transport leading out of the city! They searched for me for almost an hour before my aunt remembered that I had a bright red balloon tied to my wrist and they thought to look up at the ceiling and spotted my pram’s location.

Most memorable of all was the time I was around four or five and my mom let go of my hand. I bolted (as children do) and ran right through speeding traffic on Plein Street in Cape Town city center!

A pretty pic of my mom and I so she will forgive me….

Looking back on my childhood, I realize how lucky I am to be alive! I like to think of myself as a survivor. In fact, every person born in the pre-nineties can stake that claim!

It’s worth a mention that my mom was a single mom at the time. Just like me, she also tried her best!

Survivor, Mom, Survivor

No matter how much you try, nobody can be a perfect parent all the time. If our parents couldn’t do it then neither can we. We can only take it day by day and love our kids to the best of our ability.

In any media, print or social media, we only see a glimpse of each other’s lives. Another person might seem to have it all together but what we are seeing is only a snapshot into their lives.

Am I the only crap parent?

I’ve found who confessed to being “a crap parent”. Do you have any “crap parent” moments you’d like to share in the comments below? No? OK never mind, I guess it’s just us then.

Please do me a favor and read my lovely magazine feature on the shelves now. It will restore your faith in me I promise!

If you enjoyed this post I’d love for you to follow me! You can subscribe below to receive my posts via email. You can also share this post using any of the buttons below.

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Anthea O'Neill is a wife and proud mom of three. She is front-end web developer, blogger and a self-proclaimed glitter & yarn addict. Anthea's Project Life is a blog for the modern mom.

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  1. […] {I feel like I can be candid here, as I’ve already admitted to being a crap parent.} […]

  2. Thanks for the mention Anthea! Well done on your article in a real-life printed magazines. Something to be proud of!

  3. Love how open and honest you are! Had a good giggle and slow raising of hands while reading this 🙂

    1. Lol thanks Sam!

  4. Pamela says:

    Ha ha ha sorry crappy mom’s but the fact that I survived my three children is a miracle in itself. I wear my crown bold & proud. I must admit I don’t feel a bit of guilt when I hear modern moms forcing their kids to eat all the colours of veggies, no sweets after 4, no chocolates after 3 otherwise they won’t sleep (giggles)…. My kids were raised on McD burgers & I didn’t force feed them. I figured they’ll eat when they were hungry ha ha ha. My kids are reasonably well-adjusted adults today (I use the term lightly). At 56 I’m a survivor (……as I go.giggling off into the sun wearing my shades lol)

  5. Wow, so awesome that you are featured in Living and Loving! Congratulations on this achievement.

    I have crap parenting moments every day. Like yesterday, my son was on my laptop, ALL DAY, from 7 am – 9pm watching series. Not good! The rule was that when I get home from work that the laptop is switched off, and some activities were planned. Needless to say, I arrived home with work that needed to be done, and one look at him told me that if I say all tech off, that I would not survive the fallout!

    I woke up one night wondering if I fed him anything throughout the day. Nope! But then remembered that my mom made us a sandwich at lunch time and I think he had a few bites! He survives on minimal food, but drinks 1L juice a day – heavy on my pocket!

    My parents also lost me in a mall when I was a child. Luckily someone that knew me found me somewhere and took me to the security office or something like that.

    Most importantly though is that no matter how crappy a parent I am at times, I know that I am mostly awesome because I can be so crappy lol!

    1. Thank you Chevone! Having a laugh at your comment. Thank goodness we survived our parents!

  6. Oh yes I’ve got quite a few! Like the day I forgot to collect my son from school because I was having afternoon tea and forgot the time. When I finally turned up at school he was sitting outside the classroom and her words were ‘I knew you would come!’ Broke my heart and quadrupled the guilt. He’s 32 now and doesn’t appear to have been too damaged by the experience 🙂

    1. Oooh so brutal, those precious words! The fact that you felt so guilty about it means you are a good mum!

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