Mothers of Daughters - Steps to creating a lasting friendship

Mothers and Daughters: Steps to creating a lasting friendship

Mothers of Daughters - Steps to creating a lasting friendshipI was very inspired when I read this charming article by Sarah Driscoll called “Rules for Mothers of Daughters“. As the mother of a daughter I am determined to be a good role-model, her best friend, her confidant and her inspiration too. Alexandra emulates me in everything she does and that motivates me to be a woman worthy of her adoration.

 A daughter is a mother’s gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters’ role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships. – Victoria Secunda

At the age of four there are many ways that we can bond and many things that we do together. It’s so much fun introducing my daughter to all the nice things that a lady can enjoy in life and it’s especially fun for me to have a female companion to do these things with. I would encourage any mothers of daughters to just enjoy their time together especially while their daughters are young. By spending time with her you will be forging a friendship that will last for a lifetime and you will assert yourself as the primary influence over her and thus guide her to become the woman she is meant to be.

Ways for mothers and daughters to bond:

Alex and mommyGive her a healthy self-esteem

I can see first-hand how my daughter is influenced by my attitude towards her and myself. So I make sure to show her that I am a self-confident and strong woman. I work hard to achieve my goals and I try my best to look respectable and love myself.

You need to tell your daughter everyday how beautiful she is and show her how to embrace her own unique style. Ask for her opinion when you shop for her clothing and guide her choices. Also explain to her how her body will change like yours as she gets older.

While Alexandra is thrilled that she will one day be a lady just like mommy, she hopes to never to grow boobs!

Have a mother and daughter photoshoot

mother and daughter

Have a professional take photos of you and you daughter at least once a year. Your daughter will feel so special with the opportunity for you both to get dressed up and treated to a girls only photo shoot!

I try to do this every year with my daughter. The most treasured pictures are the ones that show a bit of our silly personalities like the picture above!

Paint her nails

Painted nailsWe love to paint our nails and we do it very often. I have a colorful collection of nail polish which include various shades of pink, neon colors, pastel colors and even outrageous colors.

Our nail regime usually includes me pushing our cuticles back with rosewood sticks, buffing our nails and applying then applying our nail polish. Once the polish is dry I apply some cuticle oil for us both as a finishing touch. She really loves the fact that it’s a whole treatment and that this time is strictly for girls only.

Swap accessories

As a woman it’s so much fun to accessorize and this is even more true for little girls. Allowing your daughter to “borrow” your accessories will make her feel like a real little lady.

Craft together

Knitting with my daughterAs a crafter I enjoy using my hands to make pretty things and some Saturdays are spent blissfully crafting accessories.  As any little girl would, Alexandra loves to play with my ribbons and buttons. She also has her own set of knitting needles and while she has obviously not mastered this skill yet she enjoys us “knitting” together even if she just wraps the wool around her needles.

Watch a chick-flick

Tinkerbell, Barbie, Frozen and Disney classics like The Frog and The Princess – these are all movies you can enjoy watching at home with your daughter. Make a big bowl of popcorn and you and your daughter can enjoy some one-on-one time on the bed with a “chick flick”.

Tea parties and coffee dates

Whether at a coffee shop or on her bedroom floor, have an occasional tea party or coffee date with your daughter. Our tea parties include little biscuits or sandwiches that we set on a tray with napkins and a pot of tea. We then have a good chat about whatever interests a four year old. A conversation with any four year old is always highly entertaining.

Be silly together

Act silly with your daughter! She is your female companion to enjoy spending time with. We sometimes wear the boys’ clothes (picture me in dad’s clothes and her in big brothers’), hide their toothbrushes and glam ourselves up in sequins and make-up for a stay in day.

They are only children for a short time so it’s good to have silly childish fun before the tween and teenage years re upon us (eek!).

Mothers and daughters
Pictures taken with daddy’s stolen phone while he was sleeping!

The important thing is that you spend loads of quality time with her during her formative years to establish a solid friendship that she will depend on when she is older.

If you enjoyed this post please share it with all the mothers of daughters that you know.

I am very interested to find out more ways that I can bond with my daughter so please leave a comment below and tell me how you spend time with  your daughter? 


Anthea O'Neill is a wife and proud mom of three. She is front-end web developer, blogger and a self-proclaimed glitter & yarn addict. Anthea's Project Life is a blog for the modern mom.

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  1. pamela says:

    I enjoyed my first daughter because she was a real girly girl and didn’t mind having bows in her hair, wearing pretty dresses, socks with frills all around and going wherever mommy goes. Picking up shells, watching the waves and frollicking in the surf AND THEN I HAD A SECOND DAUGHTER………………… Now that’s a challenge. You think you’re the expert on daughters until you have the second. Totally and absolutely different. She’d cut her hair rather than have stupid plaits and bows all over her head, she even shaved her eyebrows in case I was tempted to put it in a bow ha ha ha. Lace on her clothes, oh boy, I ended up cutting them off even her vests. She hated moving water so the surf was out. Sand between her toes? EEK!!!!!!!!!!!! as I said…………….the second is a challenge…………………..albeit a delightful one

    1. Anthea says:

      As Murphy’s law would have it, my daughter is NOTHING like me. I was so looking forward to the bows and frills but Alex is more like her aunt than her mom, not that she detests it, she just couldn’t be bothered whereas I actually really enjoyed being dressed up in frills!

  2. Such a lovely post… Now if I could just hurry up and have a girl next !! 🙂 I do love my son… he is a real sweetheart too and still loves hugs and kisses and cuddles, but there’s so much you can do with girls…

    1. Anthea says:

      Kimberly, I was nervous to have a girl because I only had a boy of 3 years at that point and knew nothing about raising a girl! But it is truly SO MUCH FUN to have a daughter. Our relationship is different from that of my son – boys will always love their mamma’s and vice versa so still lots of hugs and kisses there! Josh is not left out at all, it’s just nice to have someone to do all the girly things with that I can’t do with my son!

      1. exactly… I grew up with mostly boys in the family. So right from then till now, i’m looking to have someone to do all the “girly”stuff with 🙂

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